It was always part of my life

Chasing me since I was young.

I always ran away from it at first,

Because that was what I was taught to do.

Don’t confront it;

it will be ugly.

Don’t acknowledge it;

No one can know how you really feel.

Because you had a roof over your head

And because you had food to eat.

And because you didn’t go to bed hungry or wondering if you’d be warm enough this Winter.

Your good grades; your hobbies and interests

Were all people needed to see.

Everything else, any other feelings were pointless

Because you had things that some people didn’t.

And you should be grateful.

And I was grateful.

And I am still grateful.

I will always be grateful.

But it’s still there, lurking in the holes in my personality.

It’s always there in my tired bones and worn strength.

It’s always nearby no matter how much money I have

No matter what great treasures my future holds.

And no matter how hard I run,

It always seems just one step faster than me.

Until one day I grew tired of running.

The burning fire in my lungs consumed my every breath,

My aching feet losing strength to keep me up.

And I felt as though I could collapse

So, one day I decided to stop running from Pain.

Despite how terrifying it looked.

Despite others willing me to ignore it and leave it alone.

Despite those who wished to pretend it wasn’t there at all.

I turned around and faced it head-on.

And as I sat with it a while, I discovered

That it wasn’t as horrible as I was told.

Its dark eyes were from sleepless nights spent remembering.

Its form that was pale and hollow and wispy, and so familiar

Was from having been in the sun, but never truly feeling It’s warmth,

Holes tore open its body from all the ones that betrayed its trust,

And it walked with jagged, broken movements that I recognized.

The day I sat with Pain, I realized that it bore an impeccable resemblance to me.

The day I sat with Pain was the day I learned

That it just needed somebody to recognize it.

To acknowledge it.

To see that it was there.

The day I sat with Pain, I only listened

As it weaved its tale from beginning to end

And then gave it a hug when it was finished

To let it know that I was there;

That I saw it; understood it.

Felt it.

And we have been friends ever since.